I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
