Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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