lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
