I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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