I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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