I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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