it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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