Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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