He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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