hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just found a bag of teeth...
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
