Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
