Im at strip club and am horny
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
