Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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