My brain says no but my pants say off.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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