I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
