Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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