butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
