Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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