i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
