Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
