how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
there was a trapeze. enough said
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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