im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
