I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
