Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
