booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
