What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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