New invention idea: vibrating tampons
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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