Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
