Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
