Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
