You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
