I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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