he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
