I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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