I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
