I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
