So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
