I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
