I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
one might say we're banned from that church
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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