there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
