I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
