New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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