Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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