someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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