I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
