I can text with my tongue
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
