Buhtt sex?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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