we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
