Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
