And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
